Understanding Fantasy from Reality: A Closer Look  at Relationships

 

Movies, fairy-tales, and books have misled us to believe in a world of fantasy where love comes in the form of Princes rescuing their damsel in distress. The damsel leaves behind everything for the Prince and he magically makes her happy. And they live happily ever after. We have been living in an illusion if we believed in this fictional representation of love. 

Here are 5 misconceptions about love:

1. “He/she completes me.” 

A healthy relationship is where two individuals come together to be with each other after they realize they love their life and themselves and they’re ready to share it with their partner.  There are no “better halves”. No one can complete you except YOU. You are complete on your own. You are your person. 

A partner should only add to your life. They shouldn’t be there to fill your life with what you lack. You share the love. You share happiness. Real love and commitment exist where they understand and share your life with the other, without expecting them to make you happy. Happiness should always come from you. 

2. You against him/her

This is something I’ve noticed in many relationships. When a relationship goes through a rough patch, the couple turns against each other. Suddenly, they’re trying to find faults with the other. Unlike the movies, in real-life miracles don’t happen after screaming at each other and ending it to magically bring both of you together. 

Always remember, in a relationship, it’s both of you against the problem, not against each other. 

3. “I” to “We”

When you start dating, you express what you feel quite openly with the other person. Communication is crystal clear, expectations are set, and both of you respect each other as individuals. But as the relationship develops, their individuality diminishes. Then it will be like you merged into one being. That is unhealthy. 

Both of you are different individuals who have different tastes and opinions. You have come together to share that and grow with each other. It is normal to disagree with your partner  and to have different interests and opinions. You are human. In a mature and healthy relationship, you never lose your individuality and merge into one entity. 

4. Affection V/S Sexuality

In a romantic relationship, sexual attraction and desire are quite normal. But a relationship is NOT centred around it.  A relationship is more about love and affection. It’s about the care you give each other. The passion and fire for each other should exist in a relationship but it shouldn’t be everything. The relationship should be more about affection than sexuality. If you’re not talking, not going out on dates, and not growing with each other, the relationship is not a real relationship.

Relationships take the form of the people in it and their intentions. A healthy relationship is always one with trust, understanding, care, love, and affection.

5. Compromise not Sacrifice!

Sacrifice and love have been two peas in a pod since immemorial. However, love does not sacrifice, it compromises. You shouldn’t sacrifice your dreams; the things you love or the people you love for your partner. Your partner should understand and encourage you. A relationship built on sacrifices will result in resentment in the long-run. 

Love and relationships should be uplifting. That is why true love stories seem quite different from the fairy-tales we believe. True love is in companionship and understanding. It exists and it is as true as day. Love yourself and be you, love will find its way into your life when you least expect it.